Well, this is just a general update to let y'all know I'm still alive and doing well.

I do miss NY. And I haven't been as good-tempered as I was when I came back for Thanksgiving, which makes me sad/mad and prompts me to try harder, only to let my bad temper get the best of me. Hopefully it's just that time of the month.

Oooh I'm so lazy. I need to get moving.

FFX-2 is so damn sweet. Just needs some hot guys, that's all.

Saturday was fun; had dinner party for friends and I think they enjoyed my cooking. Had a theme of blue going on: blue napkins, blue vase for flowers, blue glass candle holders. All in all, looked magnifico. Certainly not on par with Martha Stewart, but good enough for me.

Okay, off to eat breakfast at 12:25.

I read her e-mail, and felt an eerie deja-vu. It makes you wonder about the nature of friendships. How do you ever know you can really trust someone?

Last night, my house was turned into a gourmet restaurant! Well, perhaps I flatter myself with this description, but I did prepare a lovely dinner for the family. I've missed cooking ever so much. I made individual dishes; at my house, we usually make two or three dishes and grab what we want with rice. But not last night!

Last night, everyone had lemon-tarragon salmon, orange butter carrots, rice, and garlic stir fried asparagus. I ought to have taken a picture; I arranged each dish artfully as well.

The asparagus was a little raw, but other than that, everything else turned out quite well.

And today I'm going to bake a cake with my sis and Dan! It should be fun. And delish.

Turns out it wasn't Legolas waiting for me, it was EOMER!

Whoo.

Movies like that tend to have a powerful effect that you want to hold on to for as long as possible. Which is why you can't allow yourself to be in real life, if that makes any sense.
During the movie, all I could think was, I really want to get back to writing my story, because if I can write anything that comes within 1 millionth of being as good as Tolkein, it's worth it.

I'm home.

This time it was much more anti-climactic than last. I have missed Minnesota's pristine white and home, but this time, I felt more like I was leaving home for another place. I really wanted to spend more time with all my friends on the floor, since usually we're all busy with homework, and it would have been nice just to chill with them.

But I need to hang out with Minnesota people too. There are just some things they understand better.

I've found that over the course of a semester, I've become more rude. I've also got stronger leg muscles, and most likely, a stronger stamina. But besides that, I don't think I've changed a whit. I suppose I'll get a final verdict on the matter from MN friends.

Going to see LOTR 3 today!!!!!! Oh yeah, baby, that Legolas is just waiting for ME.

Go and be heard! BTW, it's a link to a poll by the American Family Association asking your stance on homosexual marriage.

HURRAH!

I am done! Done done done with all THIRTEEN pages (oh yes, for once, I actually went over the page minimum) of my final Supreme Court paper! It really isn't good, but at least I am done.

So tomorrow comes the good-byes. I was thinking about having to say farewell to some of the people here, and I ended up quite melancholy. I don't know what I'll do for three weeks without Maliha's laugh and hugs, Joyce's insights, Mikey's being, Jon/Steve/Andres's overall personalities, and really, just the whole floor. Don't worry Suzanne, if you're reading this, I'll be seeing you in only two weeks, so that isn't all too bad, is it?

And tomorrow also comes the cleaning. Yughhhh. But bright side! Volunteering at the library. Ermf... I'm rather tired now, so I might retire for the night.

But YAY!

P.S. About the S2 trailer.. I thought that bit where Doc Ock is approaching and the camera zooms in abruptly several times on Peter and Mary Jane a bit cheesy. Anyone else?

Okay one post for today, then I'm unplugging the ethernet cable. Twill be random. My post, I mean. Not the ethernet cable. Yes.

I have 5 full pages of my paper done! Yes! But.. I checked on my final grades and I know two of them. One is good! One is bad. :( But ah, life moves on.

Going to Macy's today for their one day sale to help Steve shop. Somehow I always find myself a personal shopper for boys. Not that it's bad.. it's quite fun to be Asian Eye for the Straight Guy every so often.

There was a reason for this post... Oh yes! Apparently The Forgotten was shooting on my street! Maliha and I saw the lighting, makeup, and costume trailers on our way uptown. Sadly, I was too lazy to check back later that night when they actually shot. But to think.. Julianne Moore was not a block away! Too cool for school, I tell ya.

What else.. what else. Oh! Apprarently I can get ready in four minutes! Of course, this is without putting in my contacts, but hey. Most girls take an hour!

How do I know I get ready in four minutes? Well, gentle reader, I had agreed to eat breakfast with Steve this morning and last night guilt tripped him ever-so-slightly about making sure to wake up (last time he said he'd eat brunch with us, all I saw was his head rolling over in his bed before we left), and guess who is the one who didn't wake up?

That's right.. me. I had set my alarm for 8, and woke up, but then decided.. oh, what the hell, I can sleep another half hour. Next thing I know, a knock is sounding on my door and it's 9.

So I rushed about, even managing to replace my toothbrush and tongue scraper in the four minutes! I am amazing, I tell you.

BTW, everyone should check out the Spiderman 2 trailer!

Wow. Sometimes even I am amazed by his stupidity. Well, perhaps not stupidity, per se, but more his complete lack of knowledge. And the way he leaves himself so vulnerable.

I know, so judgemental am I. Ironic, isn't it, considering my complete lack of judgement.

It's official: I've started writing again.

Could have happened at a better time, as it rather takes over your life and I've a final paper still to do, but I'm taking it however I can.

I am in semi-despair over my writing ability. Yes, I am writing again, but it is with considerable difficulty. I feel crippled by the wonderful writing I've read, like I must measure up to their standards. I agonize over every word, every line, every paragraph.

But I am writing again. And that's all that matters.

La. La. La.

I am going to talk about my busy, busy Saturday.

Woke up at 6.30 am to meet Suzanne at Starbucks for some hardcore Matt Damon watching. He never did show.

At 8.30 we leave so I can get a free haircut. I thought there'd be a line, you see. But there wasn't. So we loiter. Go to McD's for breakfast. Go to artsy CD place. Go to deli, in last ditch desperation to stay warm. Finally hair salon opens. Get hair cut. Glad is shorter now.

Then we head on down to C-town (Chinatown) to do hardcore purse shopping. Did buy two purses. And bargained off $10 combined! Excellent deals. For myself: Dior ostrich double saddlebag. For someone else: well, you'll find out, won't you?

After being shoved and shoving, we decide to take a break and eat at Mandarin Court, the yummiest dim sum place there is. It's on Mott St. for those who are in NY and want to check it out. Shared table with two Chinese girls and a Caucasian guy with an older Chinese woman. Couldn't figure out the latter two's relationship. V. v. mysterious.

Back to dorm to drop off purses and check movie times for Girl With a Pearl Earring, which felt much too short. The heat in Colin Firth's glance is enough to carry the movie, I say! But it was shot beautifully, especially the scenes with Griet and Pieter frolicking in a meadow. Nearly makes me want to move to Luxembourg, where it was shot.

After movie, headed uptown to see THE tree. You know the one. Took pictures. Will post at later date. Had fun being assertive girls, shoving people aside. Took sadistic glee at people's confused/angry/belligerent glances. Have been shoved around enough on own.

Then it was back home. So much bustling about. I felt rather accomplished, as by the time most people woke up on my floor, I had already had my hair cut, shopped, and celeb-stalked.

So there was my packed day.

You may notice lots of random posts today. It's because I am delaying the start of my 12 page paper.

Hrm, had forgotten about ad I made while a web design mentoree. Click here to see it. It's on random rotation, so you may have to refresh a few times to see it. It's the ad on the farthest left, underneath the "Eastwood Online, Anytime" section. The ad says "It's about time... and money.. discounted personal loan rates available online." I do wish I had made slower the transition between the "time" and "money" slides. And that it was flashier. But my mentor was pleased. And what's done is done.

On second thought.. how do they know it's him? Remember when word went round about his doubles? What if this is one of his doubles??

Hopefully am just having paranoid, untrue thoughts.

Saddam Hussein "found hiding in a hidden hole"!

Anyone else think that it's repetitive?

But besides the grammar deal.. thank goodness, finally.

Yesterday, I was restless again.

Does this mean I am destined to feel this way every month or so?

I shouldn't feel so, I know. I'm in New York, for crying out loud! There are thousands, millions of opportunities here. Perhaps that is part of the reason why I get restless...? I know they're there, but I don't take them.

But I felt ever so restless in Minnesota too, on occasion.

To me, and perhaps others, being restless has always possessed a certain romantic quality to it. Always wanting more, always traveling, on the go. Isn't the lone wolf an admired character?

But it most certainly isn't so lovely when you're the one feeling so. All you know is you're plagued by something, and that you need to do something about it, only you don't know what to do. Maybe it stems from a certain dissatisfaction.

And I am dissatisfied, to a certain extent. There are so many people out there, doing things, and all I do is go to meaningless classes, because it's the safe route. "Everyone goes to college after high school. And those who don't, well they don't end up well," my mother said when I brought up a desire to take a year off after high school.

I wanted to so badly. I feel like I've never really lived. I wanted to experience being unsafe, independent. I wanted to be free, to not always have money, food, shelter. To know what it's like to have to sleep under a luminous sky of stars. Even to know what it's like to sleep in a dirty alleyway.

What made me agree, albeit very reluctantly, with my mother? Fear. Fear of the unknown. We hear so many things about how the world is a dangerous place these days. Everyday, we are inundated with news stories about rapes, murders, natural disasters.

What if I should end up somewhere dead?

What if I should end up somewhere exuberant from life?

Classes are done!

How strange it shall be, with no schedule dictating my life for the next week and half.

Well, I suppose having to do a 12 page paper is a schedule in and of itself.

Damn, DDR is hard!

I desperately need to find a male literary equal.

This is not to suggest that I am on some superior literary level. All I'm asking for is someone who places reading as highly on their priority list as I do, who would rather risk a bad grade than not finish the latest crop of library books.

And I'm also not asking for someone who IS on some superior literary level, who reads obscure German philosophy or burdensome Russian literature (wink wink J.).

All I want is a fellow reader, with whom I can banter about books. This would be ideal:

"Have you ever read The Eyre Affair?" I would ask.

His eyes would light up with understanding, and excitement.

"It's one of my favorites! Have you ever read so-and-so?" and so on.

Sigh, it's one of those impossible things. The Holy Grail of my life.

As quickly as the time has flown by, I didn't even truly connect December and snow.

In Minnesota, we aren't surprised when we have blizzards in October. And yet, I didn't even notice the fact that here in New York, we got our first big snow in December.

I've always wished for a longer autumn--though I often profess a special admiration for spring, my birth season, I've always preferred the colors, the crisp feel of fall--not cold enough to be winter, but not hot enough to be summer.

Isn't it strange that humans prefer averages? In psychology class we learned that what made someone's features beautiful was symmetry and average-ness. Even at a young age, we learned through the story of Goldilocks that the middle between two extremes--hot/cold, hard/soft--was preferable.

But when someone describes something they like, they use such words as "very" and "really" to try and fully get across their admiration. They use the extreme adverbs in order to illustrate their love of the average.

Very ironic.

WAHHHHHHHHHH!

I got my iPod today!!!!!!!

Am having much fun playing with it. So beautiful. And pristine. And white. And shiny.

Ooooo.

Okay, will stop now.

I love you, A.

I possess entirely too much sense for my own good.

By good, I mean an exciting life. Lately, what with all the stress of finals, I've been contemplating so many what-ifs. What if I dropped out of college? What if I just gave up? What if ...

But for every what-if, my sensible self shoots back a retort. If you dropped out of college, what would you do? The rents would hate it and would most likely disown you. If you gave up, you would have wasted your life.

Oh, I've thought of other, more drastic what-ifs. But these result in the same sort of responses.

I really don't feel like I can express my true thoughts on here.

Melancholy piano on Evanescence's "My Immortal" makes it a must-listen.

Saw Fiddlefest at Carnegie Hall tonight. Would have been wonderful, had I not been burdened by the rock needing to be carried up the hill again and again: stress.

Tom Brokaw was there! Unexpected, delightful surprise--he was there to present the awards. I particularly enjoyed the performances of Regina Carter, Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Pinchas Zukerman, Natalie MacMaster, and Mark O'Connor. I also particularly enjoyed watching Joshua Bell. I couldn't stay for the entire performance, as time was swiftly flying towards my Writing the Essay class for which I had homework due.

During the performance of Itzhak and Pinchas, I caught myself wishing I were watching them on a screen, with fancy cuts and zooms. I've always had the propensity to fall asleep at classical concerts, much as I enjoy the music. I don't quite know why--perhaps it dates back to my very first concert, which I don't even remember, and the feeling of being forced to sit there during something where there were no singing puppets or Mr. Rogers!

Perhaps. Or perhaps it's that I'm the product of a multi-tasking generation that always needs to be doing numerous things at once--listening to music while typing on the computer, say, or reading while walking (well, this one isn't common, but I have been known to do so).

Must do essay.

Back from home. At home, I kept noticing the differences between Manhattan and the Midwest. "Wow, there is so much wide open space here!" and "Back in New York, things are open much later..." were among the common sayings uttered by yours truly. Home was chill, though. Slept in, ate good food, cooked, drove around, hung out with friends. All the things I had hoped to do, I did. I had missed the Minnesota nice-ness of people. There's some saying out there about how Minnesotans smile to your face while stabbing you in the back, but hey, a smile is a smile is a smile.

Bjork's songs are rather good, actually. She may be as strange as all-hell, but her music is a great mix of the lush (and I know you often read about 'lush' this and 'lush' that in music, but Bjork really fits the description) instrumentals and techno. Try "Pagan Poetry," "It's Oh So Quiet," "Venus as a Boy," and "Human Behavior."

Tonight is my last Supreme Court and the Religious Clauses class. Thank goodness.

Where did "thank goodness" come from? Why don't we "Thank peace" or "Thank love"? Just a thought.

Also while home, saw someone have not seen in two years or so. What do I have to say about that? Well, I was certainly right back in middle school.