15 November 2004
I have a love hate relationship with IM.
Lately I hate IM.
Pourquoi? you ask. Number 1: it is difficult to differentiate between when someone is doesn't want to talk to you and when someone just never checks to see who is signing on their buddy list. Number 2: things can be taken in various ways on IM and therefore a compliment can seem an insult and vice versa. Number 3: the rules change from person to person.
Mostly, I hate myself for taking things so personally.
...
Having a poo day. Want to curl up and sleep, or have old friends care (did I imagine everything?), or experience something wonderful and amazing, or have an epiphany, or just care about anything--where is my passion, my drive, my ambition? Haven't seen it round here lately.
Every day I feel like I am just slogging through, rushing to get to the end, only to realize there is nothing at the end other than another day.
Was I always like this? Looking to the far, far future with no regards to the present or past?
This probably either looks pretentious or depressing or insert negative adjective here but you know what? I'm tired about caring who sees what on this website. So many times I've minced around things, and left things vague because I didn't want to regret anything I said. But that sort of defeats the whole purpose, doesn't it?
Lately I hate IM.
Pourquoi? you ask. Number 1: it is difficult to differentiate between when someone is doesn't want to talk to you and when someone just never checks to see who is signing on their buddy list. Number 2: things can be taken in various ways on IM and therefore a compliment can seem an insult and vice versa. Number 3: the rules change from person to person.
Mostly, I hate myself for taking things so personally.
...
Having a poo day. Want to curl up and sleep, or have old friends care (did I imagine everything?), or experience something wonderful and amazing, or have an epiphany, or just care about anything--where is my passion, my drive, my ambition? Haven't seen it round here lately.
Every day I feel like I am just slogging through, rushing to get to the end, only to realize there is nothing at the end other than another day.
Was I always like this? Looking to the far, far future with no regards to the present or past?
This probably either looks pretentious or depressing or insert negative adjective here but you know what? I'm tired about caring who sees what on this website. So many times I've minced around things, and left things vague because I didn't want to regret anything I said. But that sort of defeats the whole purpose, doesn't it?
I'm sorry that your day has been "poo-ey" but I also despise IM. I feel that the best thing to do is to cleanse yourself by deleting the buddy from your list (seeing that that is less juvenile than blocking them). However, the deletion helps but of course there is always the problem of returning to the problem by re-adding them, which I happened to do.
Argh, I don't know what it is about this year, but life is no longer full of gaiety and now I'm speaking nonsense.
Argh, I don't know what it is about this year, but life is no longer full of gaiety and now I'm speaking nonsense.
Yeah, I never really check my buddylist. I'm never only doing IM, so I'm always paying attention more to something else than IM (unless I'm talking to someone). Basically, I've stopped hailing people unless I have something specific to say, because people have pretty much stopped hailing me.
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