Things are looking up, I must say.

For one, it's much warmer outside and the lovely sun smiled down on us as well.

Two, I've been applying for a bunch of internships that sound really really exciting... and I want to apply for a Buena Vista internship which has nothing to do with my future career just so I can assist with film premieres and all. Should I?

Three, two someones I'd thought were long gone are back!

Four, I'm really enjoying my classes, especially my English course, British Literature I, where we're reading Arthurian myths right now. I have such a thing for myths, be they Greek or Arthurian. Read Beowulf as well, which was much easier to read than I'd thought it would be. It was also rather a disappointment. Throughout my life, I'd heard Beowulf referred to so many times--I mean, Beowulf's such a big part of our cultural canon that I'd thought his fight with Grendel would be this amazing, epic battle. Instead, all he does is rip Grendel's arm off and Grendel slinks off to die in his swamp.. honestly. Maybe if I'd read it when I was younger..

Five, I've been seeing more people that I know around, and it really helps me feel a little more connected to NYU. Had lunch with Elizabeth, who was in my French class last year. French rules, man, for getting to know people.

I don't even know how to explain it, but suddenly life just seems so good.

Lately, I've been thinking more often about Skinner's studies on rats I learned about in high school. In one study, Skinner had three cages of rats. The cages were specially manufactured so that there was a lever the rats could press. Once the rats had been trained to press down the lever for a food pellet, the experiment changed so that one cage was always fed no matter what, the second was fed randomly, and the third was never fed at all.

In the end, the rats who were fed randomly were the only ones who kept pressing the bar, hoping that a pellet would come down.

I feel like this can be a metaphor for many things in my life right now. Will this stranger I talk to become a friend? If I join this club, will it turn out to be a bust? Will this boy turn out to be a jerk? If I turn in my application, will I get the publishing internship?

I'm tired of all the 'what if's.

Restaurant week has begun, and with it, the decline of my wallet...

Actually, I've only got one reservation, and it has already gone by. I ate lunch at L'Impero today with Andres. It's in a genteel, quiet part of town. The decor is all dark woods and creamy curtains and accents of light teal, lovely, I thought, except that the ceilings in the raised portion were a bit low.

Anyway, started off with bread and delectable olive oil which had hints of lemon and rosemary. Appetizer I had the fricassee of mushrooms, which was really good and tasted of something familiar yet unnamed in my mind. Entree I chose the roasted skate. Crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, really good. Dessert was excellent as well: sesame cannolis with a delicate mascarpone center and off-tasting fruit.

All in all, very lovely.

I love Nip/Tuck. Phwoagh.

Days flow by like water here; I fill my time up with spurious efforts at creativity which don't seem to fulfill me as they used to.

I spoke to him today. He shifted at times, from looking straight into my eyes to somewhere past my shoulder. I don't know whether he meant to be vague or cautious or off-putting.

I also saw another him for the first time in a while. I detected his presence, before, but it clung then wisped away like a bland nightmare. When I saw him, I was surprised but not. We made our awkward hellos.

The taste of spicy hummus is in my mouth. I find I like it.

Lately I've been struggling with certain things that won't be forgotten and put aside. And I was also very angry for a day about something which I don't even know the full story for, so... have I sufficiently confused you yet?

Went skiing on Friday with Rob, Wang, Dino, Connor, Rick, and Carina. That was a terrifying experience for me. If you're reading this, Rick, thanks so much for sticking with me. Well, except for the end where you kind of ditched me, but hey, that's okay. Seriously. I just don't understand how I can go from liking skiing a few years ago to being terrified out of my mind. It just felt so out of control when I went last Friday, like if I wanted to slow down, I'd run into a pole and die. Oh well, I suppose it means I'll just have to go do it more often until I get used to it.

Realized I've seen the same people pretty much every single night I've been home. And now, it's down to just Carina, Laura, Supi, and I with Aaron and Matt. For the next week, I'll finally be hanging out with more girls than guys.

Man, Aaron did a crazy awesome thing--donated his kidney to his father. He moves a little slower now, and I hear he has some intense scars, but other than that, he seems great.

I wish I could hang out with certain people one on one cause big group things suck for reacquainting. I think we're having a SATC night with Cosmos soon, so maybe then..

I should shower. And eat. My tummy's rumbling.

Let's see.. what's been going on with me...

I'm totally hooked on Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. The love triangle is one of the main attractions... as are, of course, the actual mysteries. So I've been making my way through those.. actually stayed up til 5 AM one morning to finish one. God, I'm a loser.

Had lunch with el elementary school crusho the other day. He called me when I was at the DMV getting my license renewed and somehow I never heard the phone ring, or the phone just didn't ring like it doesn't sometimes. He left a short message, saying he was in town until Jan. 1 and wanted to hang out.

I got home, gave him a ring, and we arranged to have lunch last Thursday. I got to Applebee's two minutes early and he was there already! I love it when people are on time. My mum had forced me to eat lunch before I went, sort of defeating the whole purpose of going to lunch, but I just had a soup so it was all dandy. It was strange to see him; I knew him, but I really didn't know him, after all. It's hard to encapsulate four missing years into a few phone conversations.

He looked good, though apparently he was a little hungover. The dark brown eyes were the same, smile was the same, though he'd gotten taller. His hair was shorter too. He told me it was the first time in a while he'd styled it--he'd been wearing a hat for months now. I couldn't help but laugh and feel slightly flattered.

He said I looked older. I thought, I should hope so, it's been three plus years since I've seen you.

We talked for a good two hours. At the end, when the check came, I reached for my wallet, looked up, and the check was gone. He insisted on paying, silly dear boy, and I let him. Afterwards, I had a few errands to run in the mall and he accompanied me. Finally, we said goodbye with a hug. He said there was a small chance he would be coming to New York as he works with a film production company, so who knows?

That night, I cooked dinner for three of my closest friends. Miso soup, basil-garlic tilapia with tomatoes, mushrooms, and brown rice. Laura baked a mint chocolate cake which was really good but also really dense. None of us could finish a slice.

Friday night, New Year's Eve... Liz got a room at the Best Western Apache. 20ish people came and we all hung out, watched the ball drop three times, haha. There was some craziness, but I loved every moment. There are pictures. E-mail me if you want a link.

New Year's resolutions: Expand social network. Get internship. Read classics (this is an ongoing struggle for me).

Hmm.. maybe I should do a year end summary? I'll think about it.

Happy New Year!

Hope y'all had a rollickin' good New Year's Eve... I know I did.