I am so. so. unbelievably. pissed OFF right now. !!!!!!!!!

Just go here and read it.

Just read it. In case you aren't convinced, or want to know what you're getting into before clicking on the link, here's an excerpt:

Carton : And here’s the bottom line... no specific minority group or foreign group should ever ever dictate the outcome of an American election. I don’t care if the Chinese population in Edison has quadrupled in the last year, Chinese should never dictate the outcome of an election, Americans should.

This, talking about a Korean running for governor.

Okay, usually I don't get worked about things like this.. when the whole Abercrombie scandal happened (they were selling t-shirts depicting an Asian laundry man saying "2 Wongs don't make a White"), I shrugged it off. I am usually pretty chill about perceived insults towards my 'race.' But this was too much, man. I am so fucking tired of these white ignorant assholes who spout random shit to get attention cause they're balding or fat or ugly.

And I realize what I just said makes me one of them, and I hate them for causing me to stoop to their level. But my blood is really boiling. Just look at them. Don't they kind of scream "I'm a smirking ass who worries constantly about my bald head and growing gut?"

And I'm not even just talking about these DJs. I'm talking about Ann Coulter, or Rush Limbaugh, or any of these silly little radical Republicans who like to talk big about issues of which they have shallow knowledge. I mean, did anyone read the Time article on Ann Coulter? Yeah, it pretty much seemed like she reads one fact about something and blows it up into this gigantic, enormous cloud and fuss of stupidity.

I would take the time to refute their points one by one in a reasonable manner, but one, I'm pissed. Two, they don't deserve reasonable answers for their irrational assumptions. Three, I'm tired of having wasted even five minutes on them, but here I am, posting about them.

Stressed out. And feeling regretful.

Things I regret:

1) Everything I procrastinate on
2) Losing touch with some of my HS friends, especially Molly cause we used to be so close.. I really don't know what happened there
3) Not calling the boy (well, this one could still happen)
4) Being lazy

Well, that last one really shouldn't be something I regret. But something I need to work on. But it's hard to work on laziness when you're lazy.

Life update (skip for those who don't want to read about the mediocre day to day):

Got laid off from my job. Or to put it as she put it.. "downsized." Apparently there were too many people working this summer (which is true) and now that we have two full time people, she didn't have the funds to keep on me or Jennifer, especially since I'm going to London in the fall.

Yeah, that really sucked when I heard about it, but I've since learned to see it as a positive thing. When a door closes.. a window opens.. or some shit like that. Anyway, what it means is that I'll have more free time this summer if I don't find another job, which will be nice, cause that's what summer's for, you know?

What else.. yeah, basically REALLY stressed out. It'll ease up once I finish my 5 page paper today (due tomorrow.. I hate myself, esp. since The Decemberists are playing tonight at NYU and I could have gotten a cheap ticket!) and start hard core studying for finals.

I GOT THE INTERNSHIP! Oh my goodness, what a high! I still can't believe it.

It's with Arcade Publishing, a division (not sure exactly what the terminology is) of Time Warner Books. The Time Warner Books which publish a collection of one of my favorite authors: Carl Hiaasen!

Okay, so I'm not going to be working with Carl Hiaasen, and I understand that. I'm still so so excited for the internship because we're going to actually get to do real work as the company is very small, so not just simply 'fetch the coffee' or 'get me a donut.' WAHOOO!

Okay, so I'm walking walking walking with Tillie to Washington Square Park as it was gorgeous today out--68 degrees or more-- and we are walking on Mercer and I'm casually looking at the people who pass by and a tall bearded man catches my eye. He looks familiar, I thought idly to myself.

Then I realize. Holy crap. It's Chris Robinson.

Okay, you (most likely) don't know who that is. But you'll know his wife, who was walking next to him pushing a baby stroller. KATE HUDSON.

Yeah. She was pretty plain looking without the makeup, but it was a split second glance, so who knows. For those who don't know what they look like, here's a pic of the happy couple.

Then, last week, when eating at BBQ's for Andres's birthday, Carrie goes to the bathroom and returns, muttering, "Toccara is over there. Behind the pillar." Of course, I have to have a look, so I go to the bathroom as well, and holy buckets of fire, there she is, wearing a baseball cap cause yeah, you definitely don't want to be seen at BBQ's. BBQ's is all about the cheap greasy meat and not about the hipness. She looked gorgeous from what I could see under the cap.

So there you have it. More celeb sightings than I've had in like a year all in a week! Not counting that time we saw David Blaine or whatever.. that magician guy... as we left our Thai restaurant on University Place. He was chubbyish with a beautiful woman.

This whole 'Next' show on MTV is strangely fascinating. If only you could do that in real life... "Hey, boyfriend/date? Yeah, I'm bored with you. NEXT!" And magically, a new boy would appear to take the old boy's place. I'm pretty sure most people would pay good money for that. In a non-prostitute sense.

So I found someone I'd forgotten about for a while on Facebook (ah, the wonders of Facebook) and it's strange, to think where things could have gone.

Going to eat at Gramercy Tavern in two hours. Will report back fully in glutton.

p.s. i love mah suzicoooooo. even though she's probably not reading this.

Went to orientation for London Fall '05 and am SO SO excited for it!!!!

Can't wait to be amongst those cute little Brit accents and pubs and cobblestones and Marks & Sparks!!

[ This post is a bit like a Melinda/Melinda--first bit before the '...' is melancholy while the bit after the '...' is happier. Take your pick. ]

So summer is fast approaching. It's apparent everywhere, from the warm breeze to the proliferation of skirts outside, that the arrival of summer is soon, inevitable.

The first time I stepped outside into the sun and balmy air, I was rushed with all these memories, and feelings, and sense of displacement. I feel as though I shouldn't be doing work, cause it's summer and I'm back at work 8 hours a day and back to languishing in my stifling room with no air conditioning.

Then I remember the summer before, when I knew it was going to be the last time we would ever be like that--and I was right. But memory tends to distort with time, and I have to wonder if all the affection I hold for high school is a truth or a carefully pieced together nostalgia.

I know I repeat myself a lot on here about these things, but lately it's been hitting me more than ever, especially after winter break and spring break and seeing how people have really been. I think it's funny that Alfred*, who speaks often about the stand-offish, mean people at his college, is the same way himself, though he would never admit it and it's hard to see that he is unless you look past his polished veneer.

Or the dynamic of the group, which has changed, though people don't wish to acknowledge it.

Or just being back there and having those awkward moments you'd forgotten about in your haste to remember the good times.

Or even the complex world of female relationships, how it's really women who should be planning battle strategies because then there'd be so much more damage with no bloodshed. You forget the behind-your-back gossip and delicate webs which make or break a friendship. Luckily, I never figured prominently in any of the dramas of the group, but I'd definitely been witness first hand to the devastation one silly, stupid action can wreak.

...

Enough with the heavy stuff. Anybody been watching ANTM lately? Naima is the clear favorite for me--she's absolutely gorg and seems to have a lovely personality as well. Unless she does something really stupid like have anorexia or sleep with another man with a boyfriend at home, I think she's good for the win. I wish Brita hadn't been kicked off so quick--I thought she was Vic's Secret model in the flesh.. and I hated how the judges were all like, she's too old and fat. Ridiculous.

What about Alias? I feel like it's gone downhill this season, cause Abrams wants to bring in more viewers with a less complex storyline. But honestly, how many times can someone pretend to die before it gets old? I don't know. I bet next thing you know Lauren will be up and at 'em. I wouldn't put it past 'em.

Have read a lot lately.. my new favorite book is A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. Another young adult book (cause those are the only ones worth reading) which features good momentum right from the beginning.

Also! Went to library to volunteer Friday and on my way out, encountered Alex (cute older boy with girlfriend) and we talked for a bit. He gave me a birthday kiss (on the cheek) and I felt it was time to ask why we hadn't hung out outside the library. He said, "It's all up to you, kid," and that we should schedule something soon. That'll be good for the summer, I think.

Okay, question.. when we say goodbye, he usually kisses me on the cheek, and my face is obviously turned a little so that it's awkward for me to kiss his cheek at the same time. Is that okay? Am I supposed to kiss him on the other cheek? Or just accept the kiss, and be done with it?

Ha, remembering moment from Cowgirls, bar in W. Village on Fri night, where this fifty-year old man looks over at us and says to his similarly age-possessed friends, "They're so young!!" For some reason Billy seemed to take much offense at this, but whatev, he was just jealous of our youth.

P.S. Note to self: is definitely not skirt-at-night weather yet. Remember this when you are walking around outside with your cute little spring cardigan and summery white skirt and flip flops and having random strangers come up to you and ask you to feel their muscles.

So my birthday turned out to be pretty darn spiffy... the shenanigans lasted for two days!

My friends are so lovely--thank you all who gave me gifts and/or came out to Olive Garden or called! I have to say, being 19 really isn't all that exciting, but at least now I won't keep getting the same old, "You're only 18??!!"

Soon enough, it'll be, "You're only 19??" Ah well. I have a little while before that happens.

It's a beautiful day out and I can't wait to go out and lie in the sun. If Tillie ever wakes up, that is...

NEW BLOG!

I've decided to document my obsession with food. So if you're a foodie, check out glutton. You'll love it, I know.